It always seems like a nightmare

…until one plugs the game into “the kibitzer” (as Alex calls chess engines).

Ken didn’t show up or call off, so I got a full-point forfeiture, as did William, but this game was still rated, and we played it at G/60.

Round 3

I thought I had threw away my win and had lost with …Ba5, after Bd3, but it turns out that the best White has is a draw by perpetual with Bxh7+ (which oddly enough he said that he was playing for! – yet didn’t play it). My mind was more in panic-mode and I had not considered the perpetual. After the game, however, it did dawn on me that he needed to get that check in right away, but during the game I thought I was toasted, and the fact that it was only G/60 was affecting my confidence (but really, I should play much better than this, missed too many tactics).

I felt that ..gxNf6 was winning, but simply didn’t have enough time to calculate it all and needed to play it safe, but then he inexplicably gave me a piece for no reason and the rest was a wrap-up.

BTW, my ChessTempo rating is currently at 1750, have gotten the last 17 in a row correct, but I missed seemingly every long continuation in this actual game.

I think in real games you have to calculate deeply as an open-ended proposition, just to achieve a higher-rating. Whereas, with tactics puzzles, you know that all of the drama will be taken out of a position after the next threee moves or so, so that is a close-ended proposition.

Here is an example: I miss 9…Qh4+, 10.g3 NxBd2, and now if gxQ, then NxQf3+ wins a piece and a tempo. Otherwise, KxN Qxd4 (which I had been eyeing). That is reprehensible that I miss this, even for G/60. If this were a job, I would be fired, and if my opponent have given two sh*ts about this game, he probably would have found the Bxh7+ draw on the appropriate move, as well. lol.

..Ba5 was a pompous move, I knew that ..cxd4 was a simply advantage (and quite large according to Fruit). After the game, I thought that …Qg5+ was best, and he said he would have played …Qe3, whereupon I said I would have exchanged queens, and played ..cxd4; once again, big advantage.

How could I see so shallowly OTB, but not when solving tactics puzzles? Why do I insist that low-rated players should merely shovel me their pieces into my wheel-barrow because of their low-rating. Why do I sweat a game so badly where I played it so poorly?

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