Nervous Collapse

Round 4

I had 2 min 13 seconds at the end of the game, but wasn’t spending any time on those poor moves at the end, they were all instant moves. I had planned 32.Qe2, but he played the passive 31.h6 and I felt I needed to “take advantage” of this by playing an active move, even though I had decided not to play 32.Bb6, I forgot about 32.Qe2 all of a sudden, probably because it seemed more passive. After the game, I noticed after the natural 33.Qc2 that the knight is not even dropping. So I blundered this game away, and $20 clear second as well, just on nerves alone.

In other news, my buddy Alex got kicked out of his place and is staying with me as of last night, and I took today off. I wasn’t tired, just too much nervous exhaustion after staying up with him almost all night studying chess positions.

I should have blitzed out the win from this game, I was able to blitz wins in all lines instantly when we looked at it, but maybe between job, Wednesday’s game, no nap before this game, no vitamin B all day, just coffee during the game, too stressed out in some way, and it only takes being a little off to mess up one’s result. Plus, yes, I didn’t want to play because I was too happy after finding my rating point jump right before the game started. It’s tough to get all p*ss and vinegar again after finding out something positive like that. Too much extraneous stuff to digest right before the game.

My clock management is so poor that my game requires excellent nerves to compensate for this. I need to play quicker. I also need to play my opponent’s clock, even if my opponent only takes 25 min. to play the game. My opponent gave me the fast/poor play for gratis, without me forcing him into it. I benefitted from his quick play far more than it hurt me, but I should be forcing this more from opponents, not relying on them giving me fast/weak play. I should be trying to end games early, even if they go 90 moves, and save time as a rule for endgames, not this coffee-house stuff.


2 thoughts on “Nervous Collapse

  1. Yeah it looks like you weren’t in the shape. I learned that the lower rated will always find a way to lose, his two pieces sac … ??? Just don’t give them any chances.

  2. I don’t think it was a sac, you are giving too much credit. I believe he wasn’t paying attention to the first piece going, and was hoping with the second piece, and basically just trying to find the obvious moves. He was trying to play my time-pressure at the end. I wasn’t loose at all, and there is just way too much going on that day leading up to the game, that is the immensely frustrating part. I feel as if I could blitz win right now after just waking up from plenty of sleep, but at the end of the day it has been a toss-up far too many times, a daily endurance contest, which is probably why he blunders as well, tired errors.

    I just don’t want to hang out at my friends smoke-filled house any more for a couple hours before the game. I can’t breathe in there, it’s like I’m holding my breath. No more of doing that.

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